The Clique That Was Not So Clique-ish

Over the past couple of months, I have been referred to as a social standing that I've never quite had the opportunity to say I've been a part of. Not that I want to be a part of it, but apparently I give off the vibe that I am.

I'm quite surprised to say that many people think I am a member of an elite clique within the community that I have chosen to spend nearly 100% of my time with. Oh really?

A clique you say?

Huh.

As I began to ponder this new description of myself, I realized I became enveloped with a white hot anger. Now, usually, I would say that if I am really angry about something, then obviously part of it must be true, otherwise I wouldn't be angry. I've always argued for the "words are just words" mantra, but, I can't side with it this time.

The fact that anyone would ever consider me to be a part of a clique is utterly absurd. And to top it off by trying to point it out to me, makes me want to punch an innocent little child.

Let's think about how modern day views the term clique. Many people my age would immediately jump to the movie Mean Girls and the ever so popular clique, the Plastics. Older ages might jump to the movie The Heathers.

Cliques are mean. Cliques degrade people. Cliques only ever hang out with themselves and make sure that everyone else around them know they are not welcome and are beneath them.

You honestly think I belong to a clique? Seriously? I strongly disagree.

Now, here's something I can get behind.

I have very few close friends. Friends that I can count on to be there for me 24/7 within the drop of hat. Friends that know my deepest, darkest secrets. Friends that I know will have my back about anything or against anyone without ever questioning me or waning to hear the "other side" before they support me. And friends that I would personally do all the same for.

To be honest, I have two (actually three, but just two out at K-State). We call ourselves the trio. Not because we are a clique, but because we know each other more than we know ourselves and know that when push comes to shove, we are really the only ones we can rely on.

And while we three are always seen together, we are far from a degrading social standing. We are three of the most accepting, most helpful, most approachable people you will find.

If this were not so, would we have random people to come up to us and talk to us about our involvement at K-State and with questions about the LGBT community?

If this were not so, would we have parties where we invited over 20 people (cause that's really all we know) to come hang out with us? And where more than 10 people showed up to said parties?

If this were not so, would we really care to make appearances at anything? Because, what's the point if we are just going to be hanging out with ourselves and excluding everyone else.

I like to consider myself one of mankind's most affectionate life forms. Something like the cross between a golden retriever and a barnacle (Thank you, Elizabeth Gilbert).

Part of an evil clique, I am not.

In all fairness, I should admit that I do exclude some people. It's human nature and everyone does it, whether they care to acknowledge it or not. But I've only excluded them because they've burned me. Hard. I give everyone a fair chance. I will let you into my life very easily and I will cherish our friendship. It's not hard to become an inner circle friend.

But, I expect the same treatment in return.

What's the point of putting love, sweat, and tears into a relationship with someone if all they are going to do is through it back into your face? There is none.

How do you expect me to keep being friends with someone who fools around with me and then immediately calls it a mistake the next day knowing full well how sacred I hold anything sexual in my life? What about when one say's I'm one of their best friends but then completely cuts me out of their life because that's "just what they do." How about when I give someone every opportunity in the world to prove to me that they can throw away their immaturity and become a real person, only to have them constantly embarrass me in public?

Those are nigh impossible situations to forgive people for.

So, before you start saying that I am (and my friends) are too cliquey and I need to open up my circle of friends a little more, maybe you should start thinking about why it is that I don't involve you in my life.

Chances are, you were probably a part of my (our) group once. So, what happened?

Like I said, I give everyone a chance and if we just have everyday problems, I will be more than happy to work them out with you. But, I don't cut you out and treat you like that until you really hurt me and our relationship. I don't cut people off for no apparent reason.

There is ALWAYS a reason.

Anyways, the point is, just watch you what you say.

Maybe get to know me before you start to label me.

/rant


Peace, Love, and Other Miscellaneous Happy Things,

CK